Everything's Coming up Milhouse

Overall I am excited by my progress and am loving my running routine! I feel like everything is lining up for me to run faster everytime I hit the trail or pavement!

Stats:

In case you were wondering, that's my serious face.  (ha I passed that guy!)

I'm impressed with my speediness progress.  I've chopped a couple minutes off my 5k time since valentines day, when I did my first time trial at that distance.  As of yesterday I did a time trial on speedboat ditch and came in at 27:23.  I need to get this down by several more minutes.  With no speed training my 5k pr was 24:57 is 2011.  I think shaving off several minutes is achievable.

I ran a 10k last weekend in 57:44.  I am not sure how I felt running it using the Galloway method. my
normal approach to racing is to pick a racer in an annoying outfit like a purple glowing tutu and stay in front of them.  Alternatively I go super slow for half the race, then pick off runners in the second half. I have no idea if this are decent approaches for me or not but they sure feel good.  I didn't pick anyone off until the straight away into the finish and I was too nervous about how loud and annoying my watch would be to think about annoyingly dressed runners.  My 10k pr is 55:24, so while this method didn't have the mini rewards that my other methods have I still feel great about my finish.

The one timed mile I ran felt like poop and was embarrassingly slow, so I am going to pretend it didn't happen.

The stroller brigade enjoying Bibo Coffee (and yes there are 4 more little;s in the strollers still!)

I am enjoying my frequent runs with
mommy friends.  I had one run this week with Kate and her boys, we did a 4 mile accelerated glider workout that was amazing.  We smoothly passed off the double stroller and did our solo glider workouts in between.  Between Kate and the coffee stroller brigade on Saturdays I am finding my social needs with running 100% met!  I was definitly worried I would be going solo quite a bit, which I do not enjoy.

Overall I find the Galloway method gives me something to do while running which is nice.  Though sometimes I do miss the time for thinking.  My long runs are feeling speedy and fresh and I am not exhausted the next day.  Plus I get to eat more chocolate!  BONUS!!

First run on Lower Thomas from our new house.  I had to walk a bunch through the melting snow.

I'm down to 167.5 lbs. I've lost 23.2lbs over the last 17 weeks which averages to 1.3lbs per week.  A healthy amount of loss in a healthy amount of time.  Craig told me last week that I need to stop wearing my maternity pants because my butt doesn't look nice in them anymore.  That felt nice!

Overall I am chugging along, getting in the miles, proud of my progress, and enjoying running my mommy friends too!

Things are definitely coming up milhouse for this mother runner.  

Pondering Parenting and Running

Tomato monkey cheese is the best! 

I realized this morning that my approach to parenting has unfolded exactly opposite from how my approach to running unfolded. When Linnea had her first cough while eating, my immediate reaction was to sign up for infant CPR classes.  I needed to find tools to make sure that I was doing it right. It was a constant effort to stay informed.  I devoured information  to make sure I nurtured her current life stage to the best of my ability.

This morning 7 month old Sagan was coughing while eating breakfast. I distractedly hollered in his direction "Keep coughing," as I left the room.  My confidence as a parent to Sagan is the antithesis to my confidence as a parent to Linnea.

I started running right after high school with the same confident and unconcerned approach that I have with parenting Sagan. I just ran the distance and pace that felt right.  By my early twenties I was running 5ks with a few longer distances sprinkled in.  My training was distracted with thoughts of body image and heart ache and all the other things that go along with wanting to change your life when you are 21.  Over the years, as I started to run farther I just ran farther, I didn't really know what I was doing.  I'd been running for a while and hadn't ruined anything so I must be doing it fine.  It was so similar to my current style with Sagan.  Linnea isn't ruined so I must have done it right until now.

Here I am running 15 years later and devouring information to make sure I nurture these legs to the best of my ability.  With this fall marathon I have a lot of the same thoughts I had to being a new parent to Linnea.  I am doing the right things?  Am I prepared to do this?  Is there something I could be doing better?  What did others in this same situation do? What tools do I need in order to not break this goal that I have set out to do.

Maybe the only real difference I have discovered is a comparison of risks.  There could be catastrophic consequences if I parent wrong.  As for running, I may not reach my current goal if I run wrong, but the consequences of running distractedly up until this point were of little consequence.

Half Way Mark

I am half way through my weight loss training plans so I thought I would give y'all an update.

Found this Nature Tracker while I was running and convinced her to pace me! It wasn't too hard she wanted to stay in front.

As a quick reminder here were my original plans:
The Plan:
Monday Tuesdays- Rest days
Wednesday, Friday, Sunday- Run with the app
Thursdays- Boot camp at the gym
Saturday- Long Trail run.

How it is going:

My first long run.  I hadn't been on Halo trail since I was ~5months pregnant!

So far using Red Rock Apps to run has been huge in motivating me. I feel like I can breath again while exercising and my weekly mileage is up. Where I am not doing so well is my Thursday night workouts and Long runs. The Thursday workouts are hard and I excused myself the first time because it was Christmas day. I have also missed 2 long runs now because of driving too and from San Diego over Christmas. So while I am behind I am still plugging away.

Half of a bootcamp workout.  Blurgh!

Boot camp class was small so I got to
pick my own partner!

Moving Forward: I skipped my Monday Tuesday rest days this week so that I could catch up a bit on the workouts I missed over Christmas and I will also have time to do an extra long run this weekend. I will take one day off next week instead of two so that I can get an extra bootcamp class in. I am plugging away and thoroughly enjoying it.


How I feel: AWESOME! I no longer fit in any of my

Mommy and me Yoga
(this was before I started this journey but I loved
it so I wanted to fit a pic in somewhere!)

maternity clothes which feels freaking AMAZING! I am in an old pair of jeans and can zip up my coat now without breathing in. Not sure how much I have actually lost weight wise. I am not dieting/checking my weight on purpose because I am still exclusively breastfeeding Sagan, I don't want to risk my milk supply by reducing my caloric intake. Instead I have upped my protein intake and am choosing to eat healthier foods and chocolate.


Highlight:  I have to say that the best moment of this entire adventure so far has been when my friend Nadine told me that she downloaded the same app and had just picked up a treadmill. Ya know that whole imitation/flattery thing. I am so excited for her too!

Little blustery family hike while Dad is running.

Fossils

Linnea is absolutely obsessed with the cartoon Dinosaur Train.  Do you know how long she has been watching that cartoon? Less than 4 months. That is not even 12 percent of her life. And the obsession goes so far that she tells her brother that she is taking him to pteranodon station in some part of the triassic time period. My not yet 3 year old thinks saying these things are normal.

Linnea showing me her collection while
looking forore to add!

It is so ingrained in her psych that every single time we go for a walk, hike, grocery store or just walk down the hall to her bedroom she looks for fossils to add to her collection, just like on the Dinosaur Train.

What truly smacked me about this rapid take over of her imagination was just how normal dinosaur train is in our lives. Like there was never a time without it.

That is exactly how I want exercise to be for Linnea and Sagan. Normal, like there was never a time without it.

I come from a large family and have watched all of the struggles that go along with being an over weight person not only with myself but also people I love. But nothing about being overweight could prepare me for watching my father battle type II diabetes and lose.

In his defense he had a confirmed case of

Dancing with my Dad at my wedding!

diabetes caused by exposure to agent orange during Vietnam. But his inability to manage it, mostly related to diet, led to two lost legs, kidney disease, high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks, and ultimately an early death at 63.  He battled with the disease for roughly 20 years but the last two were awful. Multiple hospital stays that lasted for weeks. A second lost leg. Dietary restrictions that were incomprehensible. Medication regiments that were a game of what caused the least negative interactions. He  even had to live in a nursing home just to deal with normal things like showering. He couldn't do them on his own thanks to diabetes. It was awful to watch  someone you love think he might die alone tjaet night.

It was so hard for me to watch my father be in a medically induced coma and intubated more times than I can count. But the absolute worst part of it all was knowing it was preventable. Or in his case at least manageable.

So how does that tie into the dinosaur train? Linnea already doesn't remember a life where dinosaur train wasn't a part of it. That is exactly how I want exercise to be for both her and Sagan. I want being in shape to just be a routine thing you do everyday, like looking for fossils in your bedroom.

My friend Annie told me one

Fossil from my run this morning. 

time this little saying about parenting regarding how we were raised versus how we raise our kids: "When we know better, we do better."

While that might not have been why I started running years ago, it is such a huge motivation for me today. It is physically easier to be whatever size I am, but I know better so I will do better.

This Mother Runner is Going to Justify the Boston Marathon to Herself

I hate running roads.  

If you have ever trained with me you have heard me say a million times "I will never run a road marathon.  Why would I ever do that to myself?”

Well over the course of the last few weeks I have been trying to determine exactly what being a Mother Runner means to me.  In doing this I have come up with several reasons why training for a ridiculously untouchable road marathon is exactly what I will do with my next 11 months.  

Justifications in a very particular order

(most important to me first):

1. Time & these two cute kids I made

I have always run for pure pleasure. The pleasure of being in the forest or on a mountain or aimed at a waterfall or to see if I could run ridiculous miles or to be able to drink as many beers as I want or to be able to smell the outdoors and clear my head and chocolate.   But never was it about time.  That was before Linnea and Sagan.  Now my time is so precious that if want to run for all these reasons, I need to run faster.  I need my 4 mile runs to take 36 minutes not an hour.  I need those 24 minutes for blocks and playing bands and wearing necklaces and eating another pretzel or giggling and spinney circles or wiping boogey noses  and reading little blue truck for the third time in a row and cuddles. Mostly for cuddles!

2. Weight 

So here goes.  Today I weigh 190.7lbs.  Whew.  Glad that is over.  I've never weighed this much before on my own and thankfully I get to blame this little snorty thing sitting on my lap right now and a little bit on his big sister too.  But just because I get to blame them doesn't mean they are going to help me get back to my pre-baby size.   Running will help and running faster will do it even faster, with the added bonus of giving me more time with my two cuties.

3. Friends

My best friend lives in Boston.  I shouldn't have to set a ridiculous goal for myself in order to visit her but oh well I am. I am not making her run it with me like I did my wedding, so there is that.  You are welcome OJ! (But you can if you want!) Shameless plug:   OJ’s awesome journalism.  

4. Goals

In the last decade I have not set a running goal for myself that wasn't either inspired by Craig or something Craig was doing with me.  I want to own my own running goal.

5. Truthfulness  

Here goes something I really don't want to admit to myself.  I rarely run on trails anymore.  I am lying to myself to say that this stroller pushing mother runner trains on trails.  I may love trails and set aside special runs just to be on them, but I don't sprint out my front door to a trail very frequently anymore.  I do sprint out my front door behind a jogging stroller all the time! 

6. Competitiveness  

I love a little arbitrary competition.  Every race I do I pick out someone in a pink tutu and my entire goal in that race is to beat it.  Several years ago my friend Andrea and I started running ultras together.  We were similarly paced and ran/raced with similar finishing times frequently. Well 3 years ago I started having kids and this awesome runner hired a running coach.  Andrea ran Boston 7 months ago.  Here is her Race Report.  So in the name of arbitrary competition and not so arbitrary inspiration:   If Andrea can do so can I darn it!!

7. Not running Boston  Bizz Johnson is a trail marathon that happens to be a Boston qualifier only 1.5 hours from my house.  Did I just say I can qualify on trails?  Heck ya I did!!   Qualifying is all I really care about, who would want to run a road marathon anyway? They suck!!  Bizz Johnson or bust baby!!  (I can not be held accountable for changing my mind about this justification.)

The Plan:  Beginning Monday I will spend the next 8 weeks focused on weight loss running.  (Wednesday really, remember those two cuties I made?) Here is my training plan: Mondays and Tuesdays are my rest days due to mommy and me gymnastics and breastfeeding group already on those days.  Not ideal for running but very ideal for mommying.  Wednesday, Friday and Sunday are intervals.  Thursdays are gym days with a strength training boot camp and Saturdays are my long, hopefully trail, run. 

The Stuff:  I am going to use the app Running by Red Rock Apps for my interval days.

And I just bought myself new Hoka’s.   Road Running Hokas just to be clear.  Not trail shoes!  Blasphemous I know, but they are beautiful and only $50 at Eclipse Running!

Accountability:  Between 11/30/15 and 1/24/16 I have 40 workout days planned.  40 is really not much. Even if each workout is 1 hour (which they aren't.)  It only equals a full work week of exercising over the next 8 weeks.  I can totally do that, I've done races longer then that.  A friend of mine is on her own weightless journey and she posts a fraction on Facebook of weight loss / goal weight.  I am going to do something similar but with work outs completed.  Work out #/ 40.  I’m not too worried about the final weight just that I end up with a body I can zoom in.

So in Linnea's words: TA DA!!!!  This is how this trail running mother runner is justifying nearly a year of training devoted to the Boston Marathon.

Who Was That?

With my 3 year old smashed into my back and my 3 month old cocooned into my stomach, I stare into the flickering light made by a dim plastic candle and wonder if I can look at my breastfeeding app yet. Has he eaten long enough? Can I  go back to sleep yet?   I'm trying my hardest not to think about the 3 hours and 9 minutes I have left until my alarm goes off. An alarm set for the first time only 3 mornings ago as in tears I talk with my husband about the 25lbs of baby weight that make it difficult for me to run.  

Motivator #1

Motivator #2

A few weeks ago a friend started a blog about her mommy journey which made me go back and read my own blog from years past. Today I can't help but wonder who that women was that got to set number of peak goals for her Saturday runs.  Runs that lasted from sun up to well past sun down. Who was this person that got to enter race lotteries and sprained her ankles on trail runs like it was cool? Who had a burrito place on speed dial for her post long run food? Whose collection of race bibs now sits in a ziplock in the closet and only gets added to once a year, for a Breastfeeding fundraiser 5k.

She seems so far away. Yet reading every single one of her blog entries, while tuning out more episodes of Dinasour Train then you should ever have to listen to, I was excited for her. I wanted to run like her. I missed her. That's when the tickle of the idea of having to be an alarm setting treadmill runner set in. I can't believe I'm actually considering waking up to run, not so I can run for 12 hours, but for 30 minutes. And on a treadmill? Horrors!!   The women who wrote those articles would have preferred to be lost running around the same block for 7 hours, on pavement, wearing running clothes that weren't cute, with only peanut butter flavered gels, before she would have ever considered any form of speed work.  

I guess these are the things that are making me realize that if I want to be a runner still I have to be a "mother runner." And deciding to set an alarm for 5:30am to run on a treadmill must be part of that journey.  

So here's to toddlers, babies, supportive husbands, and mother running. Let the miles begin!!

(BTW who knew you could watch TV on your phone while treadmill running? That other lady didn't! Seados 1 Episode 3 of Orange is the New Black here I come!!)

Running a Little Late. McDonald Forest 50K 2014

Linnea began the race with a slight head start.
Photo by Craig Smith  

That evening Ken (the RD) said to me something like "I know it was an unhappy race for you." I was speechless for a second. Wait unhappy? Was I unhappy??  I was running Craig and my anniversary race in my favorite forest in the world surrounded by friends.  I had to take a moment and replay the race. Was I unhappy?  I don't think I was unhappy. I had to take another moment. Why would he think that? Luckily the answer was an easy one.  By most runners standards an 8:20 50k finish wasn't fathomable. Even when Pam came in as sweep 2 minutes behind me and I said to her "I just finished." She gave me the most adamant you are lying tone she could come up with to say "No you didn't."  Then she was quite when she saw me wolfing down my soup (thanks for saving me some runners!) So I guess by a lot of running standards I should have been unhappy. But I wasn't, I was feeling pretty good! and given my training wasn't all that surprised with my effort.  I will say its the only race I've ever been able to finish then go backpacking the next day.  So cheers to me for that. When I saw Gaby the following morning and told her I wasn't sore she laughed at me and said "ya think?"  

So here goes.  I love this race. I love these trails. This race and this mountain mean so much to my family. Craig and I have lived a lot of life in the 3 years between our wedding race and this race, and so has baby Linnea! The road that brought me back to this race has been such an amazing and slighly bumpy path!  The emotions which adequately described my race tend more towards blissful and nostalgic, with a bit of pity party thrown in. 

Just after the start. Photo by Craig Smith.

The race started with me gossiping about the new course with Pam. I'm not sure if the gun had gone off or not but Sharon popped her head around Pam and said "are you running?" I quizzically replied "Yes?" and she said "Well?" and pointed at the forward pressing crowd. Oh, I should be  off!   After I crossed the start line I found Craig and Linnea to take a picture, which put me in nearly last place, but still in front of the port-a-potty waiting racers.  After the photo op I scurried to catch up and pass some people.  I really wanted to find someone I knew.  I didn't come all this way just to run by myself, or with strangers.  I found John, Jan and some other Corvallis peeps and stuck with them for the first 8.5 miles or so, happy to have friends to pass the miles with. When we got to the top of Powderhouse Trail I was feeling pretty blissful. The trail had been cleaned up, a new bench installed, and the trees had been logged giving an amazing view of Soap Creek Valley. It was so beautiful both under my feet and out in the valley. You forget how awesome green is when you live in it.

I finished up the run into the first aid station with hugs from Gaby and Sarah Marshall.  Then across the saddle to the aid station. I filled my bottle and grabbed a few potatoes and gummy bears and headed out.

What I should have been thinking about. 
Photo by Scobel Wiggins

After a bit of a side ache going down Horse Tail, I felt great and decided to just blow down the hill. My knees were asking me if this was smart, but I just hushed them up.  Then it was a half run- two thirds walk up Dan's. There was a trio slowly catching up to me and I was trying to do all I could, except flat out run, to stay on top of them. I ran out of water and was starving when I got to the aid station, but I was the winner!  I stayed in front and even told them so at the aid station!  We chatted lightly and exchanged some competitive smiles.  I was so busy making race memories I forgot to eat more then a few potatoes, I didn't camel up, and I didn't pause to take in the view.  Nor did I sit on Clem's bench, which had been my plan.  What?  I know where was my head.

And with that I set out for the maze.The maze is my favorite area of the forest.  Man was I unprepared for it. Not only do I stop running when it's raining in Reno,  (To be fair I have yet to be caught in the rain in Reno without Linnea in the stroller),  but the hills near my house barely resemble a change in elevation in comparison to the Maze.  I also don't have to run in the mud. Just away from guns actively shooting in my direction, but that's another story.

So after a few minutes of chatting and letting some tiptoers lead the way I passed them and started mud sliding. I love the maze but after about 45 minutes I was definitely ready for it to be over, it just didn't seem to end. I couldn't run more then a few steps at a time before the mud would halt my effort.  After about 30 minutes my knees and hips were aching from just trying to stay upright.  I was expecting it to take me an hour to clear the first half of the maze. I'd guess it took me twice that long, and my water was gone probably half way through it.

From Hyperbole and a Half Blog.

And I was STARVING. By the time I popped out on the road I was so hungry I was shaking. I started to run down Extendo dreaming about potatoes. This is normally where you get a bit of time back right?  I was thinking about Mamet and how one year he was so irritated to see me zoom past him on the way down Extendo, that year he didn't stop at the aid station, just grabbed his waterbottles from his wife and off he went.  This year he and Shirly passed me together in the maze and I am 105% certain he never looked back.  I can just hear him thinking "Not her again."  Despite wanting to see that look on his face one more time, I had zero energy. I was zapped. Feeling dumb for not managing my water and only having carried one GU out of the aid station I relented. Running wasn't going to happen if I didn't want to pass out. So down the trail I plodded. 

Somewhere near the bottom the trio I'd kept in front of since Dan's trail passed me at a glorious
speed. I was happy for them. One of them glanced at me while she passed, then she started walking, and then she offered me zingers.  That felt brutal. I must have been pretty pathetic looking.  But I didn't want to have someone rescue me, at least not one of them. So I said no and just sucked up my poor planning. I made it to the aid station where my sweet husband had braved the rain to bring my kid out to cheer me on. I started to take her and realized I probably couldn't hold 20 lbs at that moment and instead started eating. The rain soaked, barely clad, teenagers at the aid station were probably thinking yuck I've never seen someone eat so many oreos and gummy bears. Oh double yuck she's not even chewing. I squatted on my heels with the table at eye level and just blatantly consumed. Dennis came out of no where and I started chatting with him. I have no idea what I said, probably blamed him for creating rain.

I did try holding Linnea for a bit too, until Craig told me we were standing in a downpour. Right, my kid is a Nevadan, she doesn't own a rain coat. Finally I said to one of the volunteers, can I have an entire pb&j? Without taking his hands out of his pockets he kind of hip gestured at the plate with half of a sandwhich on it. "There" he grumbled politely. I blinked. "No I mean an entire one!" His reply "that's all there is left." Wait what? That 1/2 a piece of bread and small slathering of pb was the end of the aid station goods? I turned to guy with the clip board. "How many people are behind me?" 13 came the answer and so began my first of two pity parties. Kissing Craig and Linnea goodbye I started up Up Route.

Calypso orchid during the Mac in 2010. 
Photo by Craig Smith.

Feeling defeated I drudged back into the mud of the maze. 2 more miles.  I can do this. But I just didn't feel like it. I was tired of walking, couldn't really run, and feeling irritated with myself. Plus I wanted to see the blooming delphiniums and calichortus, take in the dripping moss, and splash in the creeks a little bit and not worry about the race.  Where was the elephant stump?  I couldn't remember and was eager to find it.   Instead of really looking (which made me miss the calypso orchids) I kept replaying the moment I was passed by Shirly and Mamet.  Mamet commented about how crazy the RD's were for making us go up reverse Old New Alpha. So thinking that would be worse I just tried to force my head out of the race and into the rainforest.   I tried to remember why I liked the maze and to pick my head up and look around as much as possible. To breath and remember the scent of this place. It really is amazing.  I would be lying if I didn't admit to my moments of thinking "How can I get out of here,  I've got other plans today!"  But each time I let those thoughts take over, I would either not know where I was or the course would take me exactly where I would have gone anyway.

One of our engagement photos.
On Hans and Frans I think?
Photo by Scobel Wiggins.

 

As I finally drudged up reverse Old New Alpha, I was thinking about Franking, definitely missing the workout and the running community.   When I finally topped out at Ridge Trail I started thinking about Craig and my engagement pictures. Scobel ran Ridge Trail to Hydra with us snapping photos the entire way. I then spent the next mile or so finally reminiscing about our wedding day, something I thought I'd be doing the entire race.

Me realizing I had to go up

Vineyard Mountain still. (Not really me).

When I got to the aid station Dennis helped me start my second pity party.  He told me that he was glad to see me because if I had taken 15 more minutes he would have had to cut me.  Oh geeze thanks Dennis.  I chatted it up with him at the aid station, loaded up my "front pocket" with M&M's and gummy bears and set off for the finish.  I was a few minutes out when I looked at my water.  OH NO!  I drank half my water to take S-Caps while talking to Dennis and forgot to refill it.  Story of my race.  I never had enough water.  So in full pitty party mode I about wrote off Corvallis from my life forever when I saw we were going up Vineyard Moutnain.  I just wanted to be done.  WHY?  WHY?  

I spent the assent of Vineyard in full on my life is terrible mode.  I don't want to run, I don't live in Oregon, I don't have any free time, I don't work hard at anything, I need a haircut,  I do want a beer right now.  You know those great self defeating thoughts.  After coming off Vineyard and getting back on the road I remembered something that had worked for me when I was pity partying at Waldo: I could walk as long as I wanted to but if I started running I had to run 100 paces.  Wouldn't you know it I could run still.  What?  But I thought my knee hurt.  Why wasn't it hurting.  My first set of 100 repeated itself 5 times, I walked a little bit and took off for another 100 paces. I pretty much ran the rest of the race.  I even ran half way up the hill on the slopes of Peavy Peak.  Oh brain you are such a trickster you can convince me to do anything.

 I knew I was near the end and was not surprised to see someone sprinting up on me from behind I asked, "Are you the sweep?" as he glided on by.  "Yep, but there is another sweep behind you bringing in the last person."  Oh great.  Then he said, "Enjoy the last of your race." Yeah right. Enjoy this sh*t show?  and that's when my pity party was officially over.  Its funny how something so rote as enjoy yourself can actually make someone do just that.  As cliche as it sounds, I decided I could do the last mile with a smile and so I did.  And I finished happy!  With my husband and muddy baby waiting for me at the finish line.

Where is my Mom? 
She said she would be here already.
Photo by Craig Smith

Photo Cred:

http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/dToatZOKhm6/Annual+Mud+Day+Celebration+Lets+Kids+Get+Dirty/5Qy0OZlX5oD/Alyssa+Braun