Running a Little Late. McDonald Forest 50K 2014

Linnea began the race with a slight head start.
Photo by Craig Smith  

That evening Ken (the RD) said to me something like "I know it was an unhappy race for you." I was speechless for a second. Wait unhappy? Was I unhappy??  I was running Craig and my anniversary race in my favorite forest in the world surrounded by friends.  I had to take a moment and replay the race. Was I unhappy?  I don't think I was unhappy. I had to take another moment. Why would he think that? Luckily the answer was an easy one.  By most runners standards an 8:20 50k finish wasn't fathomable. Even when Pam came in as sweep 2 minutes behind me and I said to her "I just finished." She gave me the most adamant you are lying tone she could come up with to say "No you didn't."  Then she was quite when she saw me wolfing down my soup (thanks for saving me some runners!) So I guess by a lot of running standards I should have been unhappy. But I wasn't, I was feeling pretty good! and given my training wasn't all that surprised with my effort.  I will say its the only race I've ever been able to finish then go backpacking the next day.  So cheers to me for that. When I saw Gaby the following morning and told her I wasn't sore she laughed at me and said "ya think?"  

So here goes.  I love this race. I love these trails. This race and this mountain mean so much to my family. Craig and I have lived a lot of life in the 3 years between our wedding race and this race, and so has baby Linnea! The road that brought me back to this race has been such an amazing and slighly bumpy path!  The emotions which adequately described my race tend more towards blissful and nostalgic, with a bit of pity party thrown in. 

Just after the start. Photo by Craig Smith.

The race started with me gossiping about the new course with Pam. I'm not sure if the gun had gone off or not but Sharon popped her head around Pam and said "are you running?" I quizzically replied "Yes?" and she said "Well?" and pointed at the forward pressing crowd. Oh, I should be  off!   After I crossed the start line I found Craig and Linnea to take a picture, which put me in nearly last place, but still in front of the port-a-potty waiting racers.  After the photo op I scurried to catch up and pass some people.  I really wanted to find someone I knew.  I didn't come all this way just to run by myself, or with strangers.  I found John, Jan and some other Corvallis peeps and stuck with them for the first 8.5 miles or so, happy to have friends to pass the miles with. When we got to the top of Powderhouse Trail I was feeling pretty blissful. The trail had been cleaned up, a new bench installed, and the trees had been logged giving an amazing view of Soap Creek Valley. It was so beautiful both under my feet and out in the valley. You forget how awesome green is when you live in it.

I finished up the run into the first aid station with hugs from Gaby and Sarah Marshall.  Then across the saddle to the aid station. I filled my bottle and grabbed a few potatoes and gummy bears and headed out.

What I should have been thinking about. 
Photo by Scobel Wiggins

After a bit of a side ache going down Horse Tail, I felt great and decided to just blow down the hill. My knees were asking me if this was smart, but I just hushed them up.  Then it was a half run- two thirds walk up Dan's. There was a trio slowly catching up to me and I was trying to do all I could, except flat out run, to stay on top of them. I ran out of water and was starving when I got to the aid station, but I was the winner!  I stayed in front and even told them so at the aid station!  We chatted lightly and exchanged some competitive smiles.  I was so busy making race memories I forgot to eat more then a few potatoes, I didn't camel up, and I didn't pause to take in the view.  Nor did I sit on Clem's bench, which had been my plan.  What?  I know where was my head.

And with that I set out for the maze.The maze is my favorite area of the forest.  Man was I unprepared for it. Not only do I stop running when it's raining in Reno,  (To be fair I have yet to be caught in the rain in Reno without Linnea in the stroller),  but the hills near my house barely resemble a change in elevation in comparison to the Maze.  I also don't have to run in the mud. Just away from guns actively shooting in my direction, but that's another story.

So after a few minutes of chatting and letting some tiptoers lead the way I passed them and started mud sliding. I love the maze but after about 45 minutes I was definitely ready for it to be over, it just didn't seem to end. I couldn't run more then a few steps at a time before the mud would halt my effort.  After about 30 minutes my knees and hips were aching from just trying to stay upright.  I was expecting it to take me an hour to clear the first half of the maze. I'd guess it took me twice that long, and my water was gone probably half way through it.

From Hyperbole and a Half Blog.

And I was STARVING. By the time I popped out on the road I was so hungry I was shaking. I started to run down Extendo dreaming about potatoes. This is normally where you get a bit of time back right?  I was thinking about Mamet and how one year he was so irritated to see me zoom past him on the way down Extendo, that year he didn't stop at the aid station, just grabbed his waterbottles from his wife and off he went.  This year he and Shirly passed me together in the maze and I am 105% certain he never looked back.  I can just hear him thinking "Not her again."  Despite wanting to see that look on his face one more time, I had zero energy. I was zapped. Feeling dumb for not managing my water and only having carried one GU out of the aid station I relented. Running wasn't going to happen if I didn't want to pass out. So down the trail I plodded. 

Somewhere near the bottom the trio I'd kept in front of since Dan's trail passed me at a glorious
speed. I was happy for them. One of them glanced at me while she passed, then she started walking, and then she offered me zingers.  That felt brutal. I must have been pretty pathetic looking.  But I didn't want to have someone rescue me, at least not one of them. So I said no and just sucked up my poor planning. I made it to the aid station where my sweet husband had braved the rain to bring my kid out to cheer me on. I started to take her and realized I probably couldn't hold 20 lbs at that moment and instead started eating. The rain soaked, barely clad, teenagers at the aid station were probably thinking yuck I've never seen someone eat so many oreos and gummy bears. Oh double yuck she's not even chewing. I squatted on my heels with the table at eye level and just blatantly consumed. Dennis came out of no where and I started chatting with him. I have no idea what I said, probably blamed him for creating rain.

I did try holding Linnea for a bit too, until Craig told me we were standing in a downpour. Right, my kid is a Nevadan, she doesn't own a rain coat. Finally I said to one of the volunteers, can I have an entire pb&j? Without taking his hands out of his pockets he kind of hip gestured at the plate with half of a sandwhich on it. "There" he grumbled politely. I blinked. "No I mean an entire one!" His reply "that's all there is left." Wait what? That 1/2 a piece of bread and small slathering of pb was the end of the aid station goods? I turned to guy with the clip board. "How many people are behind me?" 13 came the answer and so began my first of two pity parties. Kissing Craig and Linnea goodbye I started up Up Route.

Calypso orchid during the Mac in 2010. 
Photo by Craig Smith.

Feeling defeated I drudged back into the mud of the maze. 2 more miles.  I can do this. But I just didn't feel like it. I was tired of walking, couldn't really run, and feeling irritated with myself. Plus I wanted to see the blooming delphiniums and calichortus, take in the dripping moss, and splash in the creeks a little bit and not worry about the race.  Where was the elephant stump?  I couldn't remember and was eager to find it.   Instead of really looking (which made me miss the calypso orchids) I kept replaying the moment I was passed by Shirly and Mamet.  Mamet commented about how crazy the RD's were for making us go up reverse Old New Alpha. So thinking that would be worse I just tried to force my head out of the race and into the rainforest.   I tried to remember why I liked the maze and to pick my head up and look around as much as possible. To breath and remember the scent of this place. It really is amazing.  I would be lying if I didn't admit to my moments of thinking "How can I get out of here,  I've got other plans today!"  But each time I let those thoughts take over, I would either not know where I was or the course would take me exactly where I would have gone anyway.

One of our engagement photos.
On Hans and Frans I think?
Photo by Scobel Wiggins.

 

As I finally drudged up reverse Old New Alpha, I was thinking about Franking, definitely missing the workout and the running community.   When I finally topped out at Ridge Trail I started thinking about Craig and my engagement pictures. Scobel ran Ridge Trail to Hydra with us snapping photos the entire way. I then spent the next mile or so finally reminiscing about our wedding day, something I thought I'd be doing the entire race.

Me realizing I had to go up

Vineyard Mountain still. (Not really me).

When I got to the aid station Dennis helped me start my second pity party.  He told me that he was glad to see me because if I had taken 15 more minutes he would have had to cut me.  Oh geeze thanks Dennis.  I chatted it up with him at the aid station, loaded up my "front pocket" with M&M's and gummy bears and set off for the finish.  I was a few minutes out when I looked at my water.  OH NO!  I drank half my water to take S-Caps while talking to Dennis and forgot to refill it.  Story of my race.  I never had enough water.  So in full pitty party mode I about wrote off Corvallis from my life forever when I saw we were going up Vineyard Moutnain.  I just wanted to be done.  WHY?  WHY?  

I spent the assent of Vineyard in full on my life is terrible mode.  I don't want to run, I don't live in Oregon, I don't have any free time, I don't work hard at anything, I need a haircut,  I do want a beer right now.  You know those great self defeating thoughts.  After coming off Vineyard and getting back on the road I remembered something that had worked for me when I was pity partying at Waldo: I could walk as long as I wanted to but if I started running I had to run 100 paces.  Wouldn't you know it I could run still.  What?  But I thought my knee hurt.  Why wasn't it hurting.  My first set of 100 repeated itself 5 times, I walked a little bit and took off for another 100 paces. I pretty much ran the rest of the race.  I even ran half way up the hill on the slopes of Peavy Peak.  Oh brain you are such a trickster you can convince me to do anything.

 I knew I was near the end and was not surprised to see someone sprinting up on me from behind I asked, "Are you the sweep?" as he glided on by.  "Yep, but there is another sweep behind you bringing in the last person."  Oh great.  Then he said, "Enjoy the last of your race." Yeah right. Enjoy this sh*t show?  and that's when my pity party was officially over.  Its funny how something so rote as enjoy yourself can actually make someone do just that.  As cliche as it sounds, I decided I could do the last mile with a smile and so I did.  And I finished happy!  With my husband and muddy baby waiting for me at the finish line.

Where is my Mom? 
She said she would be here already.
Photo by Craig Smith

Photo Cred:

http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/dToatZOKhm6/Annual+Mud+Day+Celebration+Lets+Kids+Get+Dirty/5Qy0OZlX5oD/Alyssa+Braun